Being 4

It's hard to be 4 years old. You're just a little bit more than a toddler, but not quite a preschooler, really, especially if you're a boy who just wants to play with trucks and airplanes all day long. And then, sometimes you get invited to birthday parties where everybody else is just a little bit bigger and stronger and a couple years more mature. So, at such parties, if things don't go quite the way you had in mind, it seems reasonable, if you're 4, to have a total meltdown with plenty of wails and tears. It's especially good to raise the volume of your tantrum while your mom rushes your baby sister to the van, because you gotta be sure she can hear you from the street. She's going to need both arms to carry you, because you are certainly not leaving this party without a fight, even though to be honest you're not really having any fun anymore.

Then, if you're 4 and really cute, and your mom feels bad because some of the big boys at the party pointed out how little you were, and you insisted that you are not little because you are now 4, you might just get to stop by Walmart for a new transformer. Yes, your mom might be just worn out enough from your meltdown and just feeling sorry enough for you that she's willing to offer bribery in the form of a toy just like the big boy at the party had. You know, the one who made sure you knew just how little you were. He wasn't mean or anything, just pointing out the facts. But, if you're 4, the fact is you think you're big, even though the size of your tantrum is sure-fire proof that you're definitely not grown up, not even close. But, because you're only 4, you can't see the irony in all this.

But, your mom can and will psychoanalyze the cause and effects of HER behavior during the year you were 4 for decades. What will the the long term ramifications of buying that transformer in a moment of desperation really be? Are you ruined for life? Will your aunt and uncle ever allow you in their house again?

Well, you're just at the beginning of being 4 - your birthday was just 2 weeks ago. Hopefully over time, being 4 will get easier. You'll understand things a little better, you'll handle disappointments a bit more gracefully, and your mom will be more seasoned, too.

For now, we'll just thank God for the end of the day, for peace that comes with sleeping children, and for a chance to do a little better tomorrow.